Reflection

So writing lately has been really difficult. Honestly it isn’t the lack of ideas but the lack of knowing how to develop these ideas. I seem to loose steam when it comes to developing my ideas lately. I feel flat. 

It would seem I need a bit of a recharge. Lately with all the changes I’ve been making, why not change my writing as well? Seems like a good idea.  I have been finding that making life decisions has also changed my creative outlet. I’ve been eating better, (today was my first soda in a VERY long time) starting a workout plan, (couch to 5k I’ll let you know how it goes) and refocus of my energy professionally. I worked on a book last year that I will admit I was not wholly into. I had myself totally psyched out about it. It was not my normal writing so instead of embracing the idea I had I fought with it. Ever done that? It’s like I all of a sudden had an evil alter ego. I would write something and then tell myself that it shouldn’t be that way so I’d change it and then tell myself again that maybe it should have been the first way. By the end I was totally exhausted and the story didn’t amount to much at all. It was upsetting because I was super excited about the story idea. My downfall? The development of the story……

I started writing with no real plan, course, full storyline or even developed characters. I forced love to bloom between two unlikely characters (totally killed the story) and choose actions that were completely contrary to what the characters stood for. I swear by the middle I would have suggested a shrink for all of them to deal with their problems. I wrote myself into a whole and by the end was completely unhappy with it. Yes I know, you are your worst critic… but honestly I can say that not only am I not happy with it but people who I pitched it two looked dumbfounded when I unveiled pieces of it. So it got me thinking…. what do I do now? Do I scrap the great idea I was so excited about? Do I find my alter ego and go head on head into battle with her? Or (and in my opinion the best option) do I step back and actually attempt to fix it? 

Yep you guess it (at least I hope you did). There will be no alter ego battle. I refuse to scrap an idea I was so excite about. Well that just leaves me with a very large re-write. This sounds very daunting but honestly it’s very cleansing. As I’m reading through it and thinking how could I possibly write this at all, I realized that it’s really not horrible. I can redirect a few characters, delete a few characters, scrap a few (or a dozen) whole section of the book, actually write an ending and it will be amazing!!!  Just like I planned it!!!  Well…. planned with a few less bumps at least. 

By the end though I only have to be proud of what I’ve accomplished. If I’m excited about it and I represent it with everything I have, it will represent itself and that’s all I can ask. I once wrote …. 

When you write you have the power to create an entire world from scratch; to mold a character to your every whim, to move a reader to cry, laugh, and rage….. When you write You are providing that link to the imagination. When you read you are paying the highest honor to a writer you can possibly give.

I stand by that. I can write entire worlds up but it will mean nothing if I cannot pay myself the honor of reading it. 

Do yourself and your fellow authors a favor, give them the honor of reading their work. 

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