Tag Archives: editing

Motivation? Venting? Maybe just a hello

It’s been so long since I wrote anything on here. I have a few short stories written and published here, I’ve been working on editing Dangerous Beauty, Behind Crossed Lines, and The Queen’s Portal/Malei/Untitled (depending on when you were following or reading) So tonight I just need to vent a little bit.

I’ve been working on Dangerous Beauty on and off since my oldest son was about 5 years old; he is now 16! It’s been a love/hate relationship, a time sucker, and an emotional rollercoaster. My characters have grown just as much as I have grown as a writer. I’m writing this now with a determination to finally publish this book.

I’ll tell you now, I gave up on this book so many different times. I pushed it to the side, thew ACTUAL hand written pages of it in the trash, and even tried deleting it from my computer. I absolutely LOVE and LOATHE this book. It’s literally the hardest thing I have ever written; but I realized something recently: WRITING IS THE EASY PART!

I can literally create an entire race of beings, full settings, entire worlds, rules, no rules, conflicts, and action out of thin air. My characters and descriptions are so believable I can actually dream about them, and I have! Writing was the easy part; publishing is the hardest thing I have ever tackled.

I have to come up with money to edit, money to publish, money to promote, and money to compensate for all the time I’m working on these books. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to write, I love to tell stories, and I love to entertain. I am just not the biggest fan of attempting to save money for all the other stuff.

I’ve had some other bumps keeping me from being able to raise the money too. I’m too shy (YES SHY) about asking for money to help out. People say “Oh just do GoFundMe or IndyGoGo or any other number of funding to help out” Ideally this would be great, but I honestly don’t even know where to start and feel bad asking about it. I mean I’m supposed to ask for help funding my project then ask you to put up MORE money to actually buy the book so I can make money? This doesn’t make sense to me… and it baffles me to no end.

Shyness and inability to know where to start aren’t the only things that have gotten in my way recently. Money has to go to so many places right now. Cars break down, house needs small repairs (LOTS OF SMALL REPAIRS) I have a teenager and a youngster that need clothes and shoes and school stuff and extra other little things, AND the kicker, medical bills.

In fact, it’s the reason behind those medical bills that got me back to writing. I recently had to have surgery for Thyroid Cancer. Cancer is the scariest word in the medical field, at least I think so. I was very lucky, they were able to do two different surgeries to remove my thyroid. I’m now waiting for the healing process so I can take one dose of a radioactive iodine pill to hopefully remove any remains of cancer cells. THEN it’s just LOTS of blood work to check my hormone levels and medicine everyday for the rest of my life. It’s a balancing act that can cause a lot of weird small problems that are easily fixed by adjusting the dosage of the medicine. Those of you that have had this done know what I’m talking about! While it was the easiest of the cancers to have, it’s still terrifying to be told “You have cancer”

So I got to thinking, I got lucky this time around. It was removable, I’ll survive this one. But WHAT IF there is a next time? WHAT IF something comes back or spreads? These are my NOW questions. I have these three books I’ve written and say “Sure I’ll get it published” but I guess I’ve just never motivated myself into doing it. I guess it’s a weird thing to be motivated by, but it’s what’s motivating me right now.

So I can say, with confidence, I WILL FIND A WAY to get this book in your hands! Right now I’m trying to find a way to get up some money to pay for the editing. So while I do that, I’m hoping to write a few more short stories and get them up here. I MAY even write some based on characters I already have in these books! So be looking for it!


Until next time!!!

Laughter, love, and hugs

J.M. White


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Serenity Now

Lounging on a bench looking at all the nature around me. Quiet. There’s a light breeze on a hot day. It’s a perfect setting for writing. 

Writing will have to wait though. ☺️ 

Today I’m going to give you a brief update on Dangerous Beauty while I wait for my family to catch up. I FOUND a beta to give me VERY critical feedback and I ADORE her for it. A HUGE thank you to Laura for giving me a reason to keep going and make it better!!! It will be coming out I promise you guys. Just patiently wait a bit longer!! 

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Can’t is Just a State of Mind

So I have writer friends I talk to on Facebook as well as people I follow on here. I read their stuff and talk with them and every time I do I think I wish I could do that but I just can’t. Then I make up all sorts of excuses…. “I’m just too busy” “There isn’t enough time” “I’m too tired” “I’m just not that creative” Today I realized these things are just that… they are excuses that are stopping me. I’m going to take a page out of some of there books and make some time, push my creativity, and challenge friends and other fellow writers to do the same. So what’s stopping you all? What is keeping you from those beautiful keyboard keys and pencils and paper?

I’m removing can’t from my vocabulary and I’m starting fresh. I was challenged (well I viewed it as such to motivate me) to write some of my stories on this blog. So far I’ve just been blogging about my process… sometimes I re read and realize I’m just whining about something, or I’m saying something and I don’t follow through with it. So I’m going to be removing can’t, won’t, and don’t.

I may crash, I may get tired, I’m GOING to get frustrated, and I’m going to stress my creative muscle…. BUT I’m going to do it!! Right now I’ve got 3 novels in the editing process and I”m just held up on them. So I’m giving them to someone else to edit and I’m going to remove myself from them for a while and just write what comes to mind. My first project I’m hoping to put up next week. I hope you will all bear with me a while and I’d LOVE to hear some feedback as well as encouragement!!!

This is a hard process and sometimes I feel that by putting it up here I’m opening myself up. Then I realize that’s what I need to do. I won’t become a better writer if I don’t ask for feedback. I can’t ask for feedback without putting something out there.  🙂 SOOooooooooooooo

I’m asking you all for your help…… Make me a better writer because I know I CAN!!!!

See you all next week!!!!!  🙂

In the meantime…. Check out my friend’s writing blog!!!!!!! joelmichaelleong.wordpress.com!!!!!  TOTALLY WORTH THE CHECKOUT!!!!  🙂


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Land of the Lost?!

I almost forgot I had a blog!!! 🙂

I have gotten pretty busy lately. My full time job is getting in the way of my hobbies. 😉 I have been working on a couple of projects though. Last year I wrote “The Queen’s Portal” about a woman growing up in one world only to find out in her adult years she’s the missing leader of another world. She has to go through learning how to lead people she knows nothing about in a land torn apart by wars and oppressed by her own bloodline. By the end she will need to make a decision between her previous life that she has known since she was a child and the new life she has come to know. Honor and duty over love and comfort. It’s been an interesting journey for myself writing something like that. It has many scifi elements in it and I’m just not used to writing that. I’ve been forming the sequel to that book and I’m completely excited and terrified of it at the same time. The first one was so daunting to write and came out amazingly well I’m afraid to follow it. BUT I left it so open I feel I need to answer some things still.

I started a second project as well. This one has required me to reach out to other people to do a little bit of research. It has many elements completely rooted in superstition, lore, legend, and even some spirituality! I won’t say too much about it because I’m still in the process of putting it all together. Sometimes I feel like Frankenstein putting together a monster and just hoping that it won’t run into a village and destroy it!!!

There are so many things I’ve learned while being busy working, balancing family life, balancing a freelance job, as well as writing my own stuff. The first thing I learned was I have only so much patience when I’m busy. The second thing I learned is I daydream A LOT when I’m in the writing process. The third thing I learned is one project CANNOT rule my life. There are times when I just need to set it aside and look around at the colors, people, and things in my life.

Balance is SUPER important. I LOVE to write and it’s an amazing outlet. I can vent anger out through a character, I can create a world where I can escape reality for brief moments until I’m able to deal with that reality, I can write out a problem and then solve it and apply it to a real life situation, and above all I can entertain. My mind can be a dark and scary place, anyone’s can be. It does no good to stay inside of it and let no one in. Shutting youself out of everything while you work on a project is a horrible thing to do and yet we all do it. I myself sometimes forget that there are real things I have to get done and people I have to see. While you do your projects, whether they be writing, music, drawing, or anything else you do…. make sure to make time for yourself and your loved ones.

Now with all of that out of my system….. Here is a small piece of what I’ve been writing lately…..  🙂

Malei walked to the door. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She opened it. Inside her mother’s chambers it looked like a preserved museum scene, something from long ago. The bed remained in perfect condition. Dust did not touch anything. She walked around it. The walls were grey an the floor white raised tile. A writing table stood in the corner. It was wooden and carved with many different patterns. It was beautiful. That writing desk may have been Malei’s favorite thing in this room. She remembered running in and playing on it often when she was little. A closet stood in the far side of the room. Gowns flowed out of it in every color of the rainbow. Her mother was always beautiful and her gowns had to match that beauty. A couch was in the center of the room standing on white furs. A fireplace made of black marble stood at the other end of the room. She walked all the way in and marveled. Nothing was touched in this room. It was just as she remembered it. There were no black marks, no stains, nothing like the rest of the castle. Malei was baffled until she reached the bedside table. Upon the table stood a crown of red gold. Around the gold were black gems. This was the crown of the kingdom. It pulsed as she approached it. The crown called out to her. She reached out for it. Malei dare not finish her reach. It reminded her of her mother. This crown wanted her. It needed her. She closed her eyes and listened. A hum filled the room. Warmth spread through her. She felt more alive in this moment than she ever felt in her life. These people depended on her. They counted on her to rule them. They counted on her to be able to make the right decisions, give the right sacrifices. She was needed. She opened her eyes and reached for the crown again. It pulsed again and this time her hand connected with it. Light erupted and Malei’s vision swam before her.

And there you have it. A small piece from The Queen’s Portal.  Hopefully I will be able to get it all stitched up this summer and ready to head to an editor so I can work on it’s sequel. While that’s all happening… I will continue to work on this new idea I have temporarily dubbed The Gypsy Bride…. How painful would it be to loose one’s essence? To become just a shell and nothing more? Can it be more painful than immortality?! I’ll find out as this book takes shape!!!  🙂

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So What Now?!

Sometimes I feel like I hit a brick wall when it comes to my writing. I know I am my WORST and HARSHEST critic…. but I’m wondering if I’m taking it to the extreme.

EXAMPLE: I wrote my first book over 8 years ago. I’m still editing and re-editing and re-writing because it’s just not “perfect” So what now? When I’ve worked on this for so long I finally gave it to someone else to edit and I feel like I gave away my first born child!!!

I have written other things since then. My second book seemed a bit easier to hand over to someone to edit. I figured it would get easier with each book regardless of the fact the first one hasn’t been finished or published yet. So again I ask, What now?!

What do you do when you are in between projects? Do you start more? How many things should be on the back burner at one time?!

Slowly I’m learning that the hard part wasn’t coming up with the story and developing it. NOPE not even close. Now I have to market a book that doesn’t even fully exist yet. It’s all kind of funny in a way. BUT I do what I do to get these ideas out of my head. NOW I should get back to work right?!


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Lazy Daze

I’m writing this because, to be completely honest, I cannot think of anything to write on my novels right now. It’s on the brink of a beautiful spring and right now all I want to do is be lazy and lay outside soaking in as much sun as I am able. 

ANYWAY….. News on Dangerous Beauty!!!!!  Final edits are done, sample has been sent out, and I’m about to send out for my proof. EXCITED!!!!!  (Still just want to lay outside)

Behind Crossed Lines in officially in first edits. It’s being pulled apart and pieced back together. I’m still not sure if this is the best way to edit something and I’m totally open for suggestions but I seem to think better on things when I can fully pull them apart and dissect them and then put them back together. I guess it’s a good thing I did not go into the medical field. (I shudder to think)

First draft is coming along great on my newest creation and someday soon I may even name it.


As I look and think about all of this I have come up with one conclusion: My mind is going to drive me insane. I can’t seem to finish one project before moving on to the next. They hit me in waves and there are times I feel as if I’m working on four stories all at once. I’m pretty sure I’ve even crossed over some characters at some point. Which brings me to this conclusion….. I MUST GET OUTSIDE AND SOAK UP SUN!!!!! 

I’m hoping my lazy daze isn’t too contagious. It would be really bad if we were all just laying around outside looking up and seeing if we can find shapes in the clouds. 😉 

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The Emotional Roller coaster known as the “Editing process”

Hi again……  🙂

I feel like I’ve been on a complete roller coaster and like this is just never going to end. This project started as a “Hey you’ve written poetry for years why don’t you write novel I dare you” type thing. I wrote Dangerous Beauty in it’s entirety roughly eight years ago. I rewrote it for a NaNoWriMo three years ago and it’s STILL not finished. After reading several blogs, papers, books, talking to professors, friends, family, and anyone else that would listen I realized something….. I am my OWN worst enemy. 

HAHA yeah it’s true. No one could possibly criticize my work more than I do. So what am I going to do about it? It’s not as easy and just stepping back and walking away from it for a while. This book deserves it’s time and publication. So I’m going to finish it. 

Sometimes that emotional roller coaster we call the editing process is a good thing. Things get ironed out and as you are reading the questions that your reader would ask you end up asking yourself and answering them. However as with anything, sometimes it gets too drawn out and discouragement can set in. You think there is just no way this is good enough I should just scrap it and run from it. I’ve felt that way more than I care to admit. 

Something keeps calling me back and I guess that means this is just mean to be. So no more dallying!!! Dangerous Beauty will be finished and published by March of this year!!!!  I’ll keep updating here for all of those reading. 

Thanks for the support and kind words!!  🙂 

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