Tag Archives: thoughts

Motivation? Venting? Maybe just a hello

It’s been so long since I wrote anything on here. I have a few short stories written and published here, I’ve been working on editing Dangerous Beauty, Behind Crossed Lines, and The Queen’s Portal/Malei/Untitled (depending on when you were following or reading) So tonight I just need to vent a little bit.

I’ve been working on Dangerous Beauty on and off since my oldest son was about 5 years old; he is now 16! It’s been a love/hate relationship, a time sucker, and an emotional rollercoaster. My characters have grown just as much as I have grown as a writer. I’m writing this now with a determination to finally publish this book.

I’ll tell you now, I gave up on this book so many different times. I pushed it to the side, thew ACTUAL hand written pages of it in the trash, and even tried deleting it from my computer. I absolutely LOVE and LOATHE this book. It’s literally the hardest thing I have ever written; but I realized something recently: WRITING IS THE EASY PART!

I can literally create an entire race of beings, full settings, entire worlds, rules, no rules, conflicts, and action out of thin air. My characters and descriptions are so believable I can actually dream about them, and I have! Writing was the easy part; publishing is the hardest thing I have ever tackled.

I have to come up with money to edit, money to publish, money to promote, and money to compensate for all the time I’m working on these books. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to write, I love to tell stories, and I love to entertain. I am just not the biggest fan of attempting to save money for all the other stuff.

I’ve had some other bumps keeping me from being able to raise the money too. I’m too shy (YES SHY) about asking for money to help out. People say “Oh just do GoFundMe or IndyGoGo or any other number of funding to help out” Ideally this would be great, but I honestly don’t even know where to start and feel bad asking about it. I mean I’m supposed to ask for help funding my project then ask you to put up MORE money to actually buy the book so I can make money? This doesn’t make sense to me… and it baffles me to no end.

Shyness and inability to know where to start aren’t the only things that have gotten in my way recently. Money has to go to so many places right now. Cars break down, house needs small repairs (LOTS OF SMALL REPAIRS) I have a teenager and a youngster that need clothes and shoes and school stuff and extra other little things, AND the kicker, medical bills.

In fact, it’s the reason behind those medical bills that got me back to writing. I recently had to have surgery for Thyroid Cancer. Cancer is the scariest word in the medical field, at least I think so. I was very lucky, they were able to do two different surgeries to remove my thyroid. I’m now waiting for the healing process so I can take one dose of a radioactive iodine pill to hopefully remove any remains of cancer cells. THEN it’s just LOTS of blood work to check my hormone levels and medicine everyday for the rest of my life. It’s a balancing act that can cause a lot of weird small problems that are easily fixed by adjusting the dosage of the medicine. Those of you that have had this done know what I’m talking about! While it was the easiest of the cancers to have, it’s still terrifying to be told “You have cancer”

So I got to thinking, I got lucky this time around. It was removable, I’ll survive this one. But WHAT IF there is a next time? WHAT IF something comes back or spreads? These are my NOW questions. I have these three books I’ve written and say “Sure I’ll get it published” but I guess I’ve just never motivated myself into doing it. I guess it’s a weird thing to be motivated by, but it’s what’s motivating me right now.

So I can say, with confidence, I WILL FIND A WAY to get this book in your hands! Right now I’m trying to find a way to get up some money to pay for the editing. So while I do that, I’m hoping to write a few more short stories and get them up here. I MAY even write some based on characters I already have in these books! So be looking for it!


Until next time!!!

Laughter, love, and hugs

J.M. White


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It’s Been So Long…

Hello again!!! Yes I know… It’s been a while. It’s ok though. I’ve been working on writing! Well not entirely, but mostly… Maybe semi-mostly? So anyway here is what HAS been going on. I think I’ve finally got Dangerous Beauty where I want it now. It’s only taken me  10 years to get it there. I’ll be posting more of that under Dangerous Beauty. I’m also going to reorganize this blog a bit. Right now stuff is … well kind of everywhere! I’m usually a lot more organized than this… I promise! I also have written Behind Crossed Lines, which has a LOT of work that needs done on it before I even let someone read it for content correction. The last two years I’ve been working on a large project.

This project is a trilogy!! I’ve never attempted to write anything like this before, but the story just kind of grew out of what just one book can handle. So I’m writing three!! So far book one is proving to be pretty good. I’ve had to do some research, which I’ve never had to do. Typically I create the entire world, the people, the flora, the fauna, everything is my own creation. This time around it isn’t just my creation. I’m using real life places and real life situations with a spin of fiction added to my reality. It has been one crazy ride!

I’ve been working on short stories too!! You can see some of my work on here of course, but I’m working on more. I may be moving some poetry over here too. I’ll add up links on everything I’m doing when I get the chance to do it. So keep coming by and checking things out.

So what’s my next thing? Yep I’m working on other stuff besides my poetry, short stories, and novels. So my next thing is a combined project with my dear hubby. 😉 We’ll be, hopefully, working on some fun children’s stories!! I can’t wait to get that all started!

So while I go on with a few other things tonight… Here is a taste of Malei.

“Uncle Abraham!” It wasn’t a dream. She jumped into his arms. She had missed him so much. It had literally been years since she had last seen him, and she was afraid of never seeing him again. She hugged him for all her worth. Then she remembered. She grabbed his shoulder, using her weight she swung around his back and wrapped her other arm around him before he could react. She flipped him over her own shoulder and then slammed him onto the floor. He hit with a loud grunt. She looked furious.

“You are here?” She looked with fury down at Abraham. He was struggling to re catch his breath after having the wind knocked out of him. She surprised him. The entire room was silent. No one really knew what to do. Their future queen just slammed their General into the ground. “You knew?!” this came out more forced and much higher pitched than she had hoped to do.

She let him up, then punched him square in the jaw. His head whipped back with the force. “You ass!” She screamed at him. If Abraham wasn’t shocked before, he was certainly shocked now. Joseph couldn’t even let out a disapproving glance or say a word at the very unladylike display. Adrenaline rushing through her, she launched herself at Abraham landing quick punches before he could deflect them.

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Serenity Now

Lounging on a bench looking at all the nature around me. Quiet. There’s a light breeze on a hot day. It’s a perfect setting for writing. 

Writing will have to wait though. ☺️ 

Today I’m going to give you a brief update on Dangerous Beauty while I wait for my family to catch up. I FOUND a beta to give me VERY critical feedback and I ADORE her for it. A HUGE thank you to Laura for giving me a reason to keep going and make it better!!! It will be coming out I promise you guys. Just patiently wait a bit longer!! 

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